2008
Ten Ways …
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Five ways I’m not like my mother:
1. I cook.
2. I have premarital sex.
3. I will ALWAYS work. Somewhat for proving enlightenment and self-reliance, but more for my sanity and the sake of everyone involved.
4. I have new and improved vices, including A. jealousy, B. angry drunkenness, C. the probable inability to age as well (mom didn’t do drinking or secondhand smoke).
5. I actually kind of enjoy my boyfriend’s farts.
Five ways i’ll probably be like my mother in ten years:
1. I’ll probably find God (we’re on a break right now).
2. I probably won’t cook. (That’s a lie. I’ll probably be a better cook.)
3. I’ll probably drive my kids insane … maybe even ground one for leaving out the toaster.
4. I’ll probably be more attractive than most of the soccer moms.
5. I don’t even want to fill this line.
