It’s So My Mom.

Having a hard time finding a famous male model to strike your fancy? Leave it to the gay men at one of my new favorite sites, GayestEver.com. After all, they were put on this earth to be impeccible arbiters of good taste (although their tastes can run to the skinny side).

I’m becoming more obsessed with gay men as a I get older, just like mom. Though for a different reason than her: I think they’re hilarious. I got in trouble with my bf for interrupting his optimizing my blog last Tuesday to make him look at the extremely gayified preteen boy dancers on Dancing With the Stars. Slicked back hair, waxed everything and deeply open shirts–these boys looked like Paris Hilton’s dog, unnaturally coiffed and hairless.

My mom however is preoccupied with making sure everyone knows that Tom Cruise and Ricky Martin are gay. She takes this job very seriously.

<Suri Cruise flashes across screen>

Mom: [Head snap immediately to the person next to her] “You know that’s not his baby, right? He was married to Mimi Rogers and Nicole Kidman before Katie Holmes, and NEITHER ONE got pregnant. He’s gayer than a two dollar bill, man. He is GAY.”

<Ricky Martin scene [circa 2000, of course]>

Mom: What a shame.

Me: What?

Mom: You know he’s gay, right?