It’s So My Mom.

My coffee shop friend Carly came up with a fun idea: Do It Island. It’s just what it sounds like—polygamy for everyone. She thought to keep the island afloat by selling the babies such a promiscuous lifestyle would produce. I suggested selling the boys to Japan or China.

The island would be under a no-fly-zone, of course (which necessitates, I suppose, having to float-ship the babies, Old Testament style). Loincloths and grass skirts, for lack of mass-produced clothing, will be the island attire.

It’s a funny thought, my mom on Do It Island.

“All these men keep asking me for a blow job, and I don’t know what I did with my dryer! … Did you see that man’s loincloth? It was tough.”

…Or however you spell it! The gibberish below (my mom with “Charlty,” a really stinky boy whom you all may recognize from hits like “Planets of the Apes” and, well, the grave) represents my newfound ability to post pictures!

Too bad I didn’t get her legs.