It’s So My Mom.

If holidays remind you of family crises (the cousin you made out with; the brother you’re sueing; the mom you’re writing a blog about), you can relate to guest blogger and Short Change author Tamre’s Christmas card debacle:

“My family is extremely traditional when it comes to absurdly lame traditions. Such as sending out a ‘family letter’ with Christmas Cards. Usually it entails some sort of photo of the entire family together. The past few years, we’ve just done little blurbs about what’s going on individually and a photo of each person. The year my sister turned 21 we used a picture from her birthday, the two of us together posing with that little man who pretends to be a leprachaun on St. Patricks Day. So imagine my surprise when I send in my picture which happens to be from a stadium tour at Lucas Oil Stadium and this is the response I get:”

Hi Tam,
Got a copy of the photo you sent to use on the Christmas card.
It is a very nice picture of you and Patrick, but I am wondering if you have a picture of just you that we can use.
I like Patrick a lot, and when he is a member of the family I have no problem with using a photo of the two of you, but for this Christmas, I think it would be more appropriate to use a photo of just you. What do you think?
If you agree and can forward a photo of just you asap, it would be appreciated as we would like to order these cards soon.
Love
Dad

“Really? Come on. Then I had to try to find a picture that I could send them. I start scanning my myspace page - old photo, old photo, holding alcohol, photo with friends, photo with friends, photo with friends AND alcohol. Oh, here’s one at the Rathskeller 2 minutes before I almost got the crap beaten out of me by lesbians for calling them out! I had to go waaaaay back to a photo of the ‘07 Colts season where I threw a party at Fox & Hound. It looks like a senior picture. I know I’m already 2 sheets to the wind and 1 shot away from making a fool of myself playing shuffle board. I’m pretty sure I took a nap in my car after that party. Classic. The other photo was from a Reds game 2 summers ago - I’m posing with Mr. Red. I remember running in a full sprint down the concourse at Great American Ball Park to get that photo. I think I spent the night playing Guitar Hero and drinking Woody’s Ice (disgusting and we gave the rest away as a joke) at a friend’s house.”

“So my dad picks the photo from the Colts game party. At least my hair looks good!”

“I immediately get on chat to vent to Jennifer. We decide that we should take a photo of me passed out half naked around numerous bottles, shot glasses and empty beers, preferrably leaned up against some 22 year old guy majoring in Sports Management from Butler. Unfortunately, the night I end up on stage singing with a band in Broad Ripple we both leave our cameras at home. Go figure.”