I love my girlfriends …
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… Partially because they’re not my mom (even though they may be turning into their own). When my girlfriends forwarded me this cheesy story by Cosmopolitan on “Love Lessons from Sex and the City,” I started to think how I could exploit it for my blog. Easy: If Candace Bushnell got her Cosmo-sanctioned say about how to find the modern “happily ever after” via SATC scripted relationships, I can relay the dissimilar voice of Mom.
Cosmo says this about the case study of Miranda and Steve: “Miranda could have deleted his number from her BlackBerry [isn’t this a picturesque detail? 'Who needs a man when you practically are one? Go Girl!' Blech.] but ultimately, his laid-back personality and devotion won her over. …Lesson #1: Date against your type.”
What would my mom say about Steve if he were my boyfriend?
“He’s a BARTENDER?”
“Wasn’t dad a bartender after college?”
“Your FATHER only married me because I was [open open air quotes] ‘gainfully employed’ [close open air quotes].”
(This is how I escape the rest of the conversation.)
Cosmo says Charlotte and Trey’s case study ultimately recommends to “never ignore the signs that tell you a relationship isn’t working.” But if I complained to my mother that my handsome doctor husband had penis problems? Forget it. I’d never talk to my mom about a penis. As far as we’re both concerned, my father doesn’t have one.
Whose reasoning do I side with? I will tell you this: The Cosmo write-up levied unfavorable judgment against Carrie’s relationship with Aidan, saying “she attempted to change by quitting smoking (and nixing her addiction to Mr. Big).” “Never change for a man,” rationalizes Cosmothink.
Right. Because quitting smoking is a horrible thing to do. And I don’t think you can classify sleeping with your ex as “nixing” your addiction to them.
Honestly … grown-ups work at things. I think my mom might halfway agree.
June 19th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Awwww, cmon.
Remind me not to send you any more “cheesy” articles. lol
I tend to take more dating advice from the lessons of the gals of S&TC than I do from my mom. My mom would say the exact same thing as yours did…”He’s a BARTENDER?”
No good Cami, nooo good!”
Our moms have such as “old fashioned” views when it comes to dating men. Hell, in their day they were taught to marry for financial comfort, look for a man who was financially stable, marry, pop out a couple of kids and that was that. Nowadays women are oftentimes the breadwinners of the household, don’t have to rely on the male to support them financially. More and more single women are opting to marry later in life, live in single bachelorette pads until they find the right one.
I want to marry for real love. If he happens to be a bartender…so be it. But he’d better have some time of ambitions other that that!!!
So with that being said…dating advice from our Mom should be dutifully noted, but as far as followed, I think not. Not to say that none of their advice is good. I just mean DATING advice.
By the way, I don’t think that Cosmo intended to convey that quitting smoking and Ex’s is a bad thing and that Carrie shouldn’t change it…Carrie and Aiden were so cutesy wootsy together and all…but they clearly wanted different things in life. A gal shouldn’t change what makes her happy or compromise her sense of “self” for any man. I mean if she throws up every time she thinks of getting married to him…not a good sign….Don’t you agree?
June 19th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Not really. Yeah, the movie (spoiler alert, but I think fans have seen it by now anyway) “rewards” Carrie for staying true to herself–passing up Aidan, among other things–by securing “The One” in the end. But what happens after the movie ends? In real life, with his track record, Big would likely leave her high and dry again.
Nor did I see Carrie changing who she was fundamentally for Aidan. That’s what I was trying to convey in the example–that Cosmo was taking “Sex and the City” love lessons too easily at face value. Does the author not remember that these relationships are scripted? I guess cheesy was the wrong word for it … to me, it just seemed too simplistic.
My point is … there should be other voices besides the SATC distilled “reality” of a modern woman and our mothers’ caring advice, colored by what’s happened to them in the past. Those voices are you guys. That’s what rings true about SATC to me–the importance of girlfriends.
June 19th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Girlfriends are very important and I love that I have you all. I know we will be friends through it all and I look forward to to gracefully aging with you all. We’re gona be hot soccor moms too!
June 19th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
I would seriously go insane without you guys. Seriously. I love y’all!
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:19 pm
Since this is a total love-fest I must confess… As much as I do love you guys, I’m not going to be a hot soccer mom with you.
I’m just going to be a hot mom, with smoking hot nerdy kids with next to no athletic ability. But at least I’ll age gracefully (i.e. botox and plastic surgery) with you. Love ya ladies.